Manners, Etiquette and Authenticity

When people hear of manners and etiquette, they would normally think that it is about how to speak, eat and personally, even how to breathe. Funny but it makes sense.

Many may not even be aware of it but with its seeming rigidity, having manners and etiquette is like a blueprint of how you should exactly live. Well, if it’s only for being respectful, it should really be adhered to. However, we are talking about said leaders and business people here. Thence, while conventional thinking says that manners and etiquette depicts propriety, we say such are just petty practices done by hypocrites! After all, no matter what your position on the planet is, you can’t fake the basics of life – you still eat, sleep and die. So why make a fuss out of manners and etiquette when it has really nothing to do with law violation or virtues but rather ‘silent arrogance’?

The point is, by no means should the said manners and etiquette be the basis of one’s treatment, moreover, respect for another. No matter how poor one is or yes, even when doing business. See, many ‘wannabes’ have become slaves to such practices that they would even copy how English-speaking natives pronounce their words instead of focusing on their message. You want respect from ‘genuine’ people? Change. Like personally, I could actually speak English fluently with a British accent but I never do. Why? If you’re not really a UK native then it would only take away your identity. It will just make you a regular guy or a puppet – and not someone who could actually standout and achieve breakthroughs. Look. While listening is important in communication, what’s important when you speak is to be properly understood – whether you use analogies or the exact terms, not sound like you’re just ‘trying hard’ with really nothing up there.

This is why there’s a million reasons that separates the highly intelligent and imaginative from the conventional minds – ’cause for one, the really smart never really do what the rest does, instead, they’d show you a higher perspective of things. And this is why being highly intelligent and imaginative is the exception to the rule in many things imaginable; however, worry not though because having someone exceptional doesn’t necessarily mean having someone stubborn, arrogant or disrespectful. They are decisive achievers not rebels.

It doesn’t matter how, where, what or with whom you eat if people in your community are just suffering (Photo by Jay Westcott/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

Though they may sound like one at times – but that’s mainly to stop the real arrogant, or those who are full of themselves. So the worst they could be is being perceived as a snob as there are instances that these guys are just in deep thought and so misunderstood. But the fact is, it’s actually the really smart who truly understands and respects others more than the narcissistic, elites, rich, famous, powerful or the pathetic wannabes.

After all, don’t these elites and their bandwagon look at everything like an investment? Like, if one is poor, less educated or not part of their circle, they’d just ignore or subtlety looked down on him? Oh, is there such a thing as ‘politely’ looking down on someone? Yes and it’s called subconscious discrimination or stereotyping. So you tell me, do such people then know what respect really is? Well, they got an idea that is if you would broadcast their supposed kindness.


And to think that these so-called leaders even want to be called empathetic and praised?! This then gives us the notion that these sweet talkers are blindly trying to equate manners and etiquette with empathy. Unbelievable!

Still as we mentioned earlier, these so-called manners and etiquette are only thoroughly practiced by those who think they got status, that they are more educated. How ridiculous! Okay, while we do agree with some of these practices, following it to the T though doesn’t show authenticity but a two-faced, scheming personality. That’s why we do not practice the whole etiquette package altogether. There are those that are just unnecessary.

Understand that being educated is not about knowing how to eat in fine dining nor about acquiring a degree – but being educated is about being human. Yet how could you be human when you are living well while there are those in your community who are even homeless, hungry or doesn’t have a decent job?

Have you even tried eating at a sidewalk while raining? Do it regularly for a year or two – for only then you would know how it really feels to be lacking

So you see, you can only understand, more so, sympathize with people if you go to their level. Example. While it’s good to buy the poor a nice meal, it would only scratch the surface of the real issue and worse, such could even make them as ‘impure’ as you are. Hence, realize that going to their level is about feeling how they feel. If they are eating rubbish and you buy them a good lunch, that’s not going to their level. To really feel how they feel, you got to eat their kind of food as well! Not just to try it but to eat where the poor regularly eats for even a year. Then you’ll know how it feels like to keep eating rubbish and how the poor actually feels. By then, you’d be more generous to those in need and would probably now have the conscience to pay those you owe.

‘Cause you see, manners and etiquette also has this thing called gentleman’s agreement or ‘word-of-honor’ – something that you promised before, during or after you (and the one you owe) both parted ways. This spoken but unwritten agreement is generally prevalent among the less privileged – and even between relatives and close friends. This is the etiquette of the poor. It is based on emotional connection rather than contracts which you’d only understand and trust if there’s even a drop of empathy in you. On the other hand, while written contracts are binding and the way to go for one’s security, they are usually made when money is greater than trust.

Now we are not saying that we should do away with contracts, of course not, what we are saying is that a gentleman’s agreement could actually take the place of written contracts – particularly if you’re dealing with family or a longtime friend as you are expected not to be a shameless user who just takes one’s services without proper compensation. You got manners and etiquette? It’s more than just dining or sweet-talking.

Don’t rob people but give everyone their due whether it’s money, recognition, whatever — that’s manners!

Real manners and etiquette is about authenticity not hypocritical practices (like rigid table etiquettes). It’s about empathy and being human not about propagandas, cheating or scheming deals.

This is #TheGreatLight.